You are here

Guide to Farting and Taking a Dump

The official guide to manly gasses and bowel extrusions. Expand your repertoire of farts.


Dutch Oven

Done under the covers, then holding whomever is in bed with you under those covers.

The Leaky Faucet

This is also known as a "wet fart", and is often when somebody is feeling confident with they fart they are about to release, so confident in fact that they try to make it really loud to impress those around them. However this particular one backfires and thus some moisture or even a little bit of poop is expelled at the same time.

Crop Dusting

Farting and then walking around to spread the fart around the room so nobody will know who farted.

The Blue Flame

Holding a lighter next to your asshole, as you let a huge fart rip, if done correctly it will spew out a large blue flame. *WARNING* there is a high chance that you will burn off all of your ass hair and possible burn down your house.

The Jogger

Letting go of a little bit of gas during each step that you take, this can often take place when walking up or down stairs with one mini-fart per step.

The Earthquake

Your classic loud fart, this can often cause vibrations that can be by others felt on the same sofa or bed. People have been known to wake themselves up when farting one of these as they sleep.


The Torpedo

A poo of enormous size that is streamlined at both ends, you would expect a loud splash, however due to it being streamlined this deadly weapon enters the water stealthy and ends at the bottom of the tank. Torpedo's often require a courtesy flush right after you fire one out as they are known to clog toilets.

The Triple Coiler

A very slow moving poo that has some elasticity to it and comes out in a narrow yet steady stream, if luck is on your side you'll see it actually coil around on itself and create what looks like soft serve ice cream.

The Mexican Murder Scene

This happens after a hefty meal from a Mexican fast food restaurant such as Taco Bell. Due to the anal bleeding and exploisve diarrhea it looks as though there was a murder scene in the toilet bowl.

Unloading The Groceries

Just you average shit, after eating a decent meal this type of shit is a healthy log telling you that you're body is actually in relatively decent health.