What to do when you run out of toilet paper?

We have found that when running out of toilet paper, grabbing giant handfuls of napkins from local fast food joints work well. Taco Bell and KFC seem to have the strongest and most absorbent ones we've found. Paper towel also works well, but it's generally more expensive than toilet paper. If you're camping, leaves are a possibility as long as they are clean, and not poison ivy, you don't want to get that on your ass.

In a pinch if there is absolutely nothing available, take off your boxers and use them as toilet paper, then throw them out and go "commando" in your pants until you can grab some new underwear. *Important* DO NOT FLUSH the underwear, it will result in a clogged toilet. This same method can be used if there's a hand towel or cloth laying around as long as it's not too gross.

If you are in fact going commando, assuming there is an ample supply of soap around, and there is nothing in site to use, as a last resort you can use you hand. Washing your ass in the sink afterwards however, is something we really frown upon.

Things that should not be used in place of toilet paper:

• slices of bread
• shower curtain
• febreeze
• used corn cob husk