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The rules of man

Live by the man code, die by the man code.

There are certain rules that all men must abide by at all times. These are unwritten laws that aren't often spoken about but must be followed none the less. So heed these when you are around any other man, whether he is your brother, father, best friend or mortal enemy, as no matter who it relates to, they should not be broken.

Below is this collection of rules also referred to as "the man code", these rules should be embedded in every man's head by the time they reach their late teens.

  1. you may never under any circumstance talk to the guy in the urinal beside you unless you personally know him, even then it's frowned upon
  2. if you go into a pool hall with one of those custom cues that you screw together, you better be a fucking amazing pool player
  3. no man should ever bring a camera to a bachelor party, doing so warrants his friends to legally castrate him
  4. you are obligated to bullshit how you're buddy is at least three positions higher in his company than he actually is when he's talking to a women he wants to score with
  5. unless you plan on marrying her you are not allowed to persue a guys sister if you've known him for more  than 24 hours
  6. fighting with another man while being naked is not allowed, unless you're in prison
  7. he who has the biggest and strongest bladder determines when to do a pit stop on a road trip
  8. you may never admit that you like a musical or broadway show
  9. always give a courtesy flush if you're shit is taking longer than 5 minutes
  10. movies where the main theme is dancing are strictly banned, unless by watching it you will greatly increase your odds of having sex
  11. body paint is only allowed if it's in support of your team, and if you're attending the live event
  12. bringing a woman on a boy's night out is strictly forbidden, unless you're paying her to be there
  13. you are not allowed to apply lotion of any kind to another man
  14. unless your name is Willie Nelson, you may not have a pony tail