You are here

Clean your place in 10 minutes

Would you rather go to the gas station to use the bathroom? Here's how to clean up your sty of a place in 10 minutes.

Is your apartment a complete shithole and somebody that you would like to impress is on their way over. You have 10 minutes to get the beer bottles, pizza boxes, a weeks worth of dishes clean, etc., etc. There is no need to panic, here are a few tips and tricks:

Crack a window, even if it is cold outside a few minutes of fresh air is enough to get stale bachelor scent out.

Fill the kitchen sink with hot soapy water. This makes it look like you are in the middle of doing dishes and not a complete slob. You will come back to this.

trash & clutter
Grab three trash bags, one is for trash, one is for bottles, and the other is for stuff that you are not going to have time to place away. Place the bag of non-trash in a bedroom closet to be dealt with when your lady friend is gone. Place bag one and two by the back door or balcony as if it is on its way to the dumpster/recycling.

Place books, magazines, tv guides into a semi-neat looking pile. Place any reading material that you wouldn't want your mother to see away. A great spot to hide items that you don't have a place for is inside your oven, it's not like you use it anyways.

Wipe any visibly grimy surfaces with a hot soapy cloth, if you don't have a cloth or soap, then a wet t-shirt will do, as long as it's at least semi-clean.

Will she be using your bathroom? Probably...  So do a quick check - if it looks like you would rather use the bathroom at the nearest 7-11 store then do the following:

  1. shower - close the door or curtain, out of sight, out of mind
  2. toilet - run the brush through the bowl, wipe seat, close lid, you will score points for having the lid down
  3. toilet paper - make sure that you have a roll in there, and not just some left over Taco Bell napkins on the back of the toilet
  4. sink - give the taps and mirror a quick wipe, it'll appear as though it's actually sanitary
  5. soap - put out a fresh bar of soap if you have one or one (or liquid soap), if you're down to your last bar and it's looking pretty nasty, give it a good rinse under the tap
  6. towel - grab a fresh one if you have one, a tea towel works too, whereas a roll of paper towel resting on your towel rack just makes you look poor

Are you planning on taking her into your bedroom? If yes - take five seconds to make your bed and place anything blocking the path to the bed in the closet - you don't want any obstructions in your way. If no, close the door.

Close the window and start on the dishes. Always wash cleanest to dirtiest. If you place the dishes in groups beside the sink it will appear as though a person who cares lives there and women notice these things.